I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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