Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
