I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Farmville is her only friend.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
