are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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