well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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