he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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