I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
