Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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