put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
