I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
so much tequila, so little girl.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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