He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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