i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
