we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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