How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
where does the pee come out of this thing
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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