He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
