I have demons in me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Life is so much better after having sex.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
