And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize