Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
