There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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