It's like God shit irony all over that family
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
