We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
