the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
