I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
