garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
