i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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