we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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