She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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