Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my being single is dangerous.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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