So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
My vagina is officially offended.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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