Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
