talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
