you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
