My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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