dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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