Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
