May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
