Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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