Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
