Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can't turn off my feet"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
