Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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