so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
