look no pants
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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