vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize