I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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