why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
