you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
