Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
