Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
