Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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