just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
