never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
