Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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