Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think your dad took our porno
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
