The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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