Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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