I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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