How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
