Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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