so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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