Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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