Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
