My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
