Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
