i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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