Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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