I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
