I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How does one acquire holy water?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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