New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
