Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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