speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
