I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize