I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
