i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
